Now, when I think back over the last year, I feel like I learned so much from this experience. When we first found out his heart was no longer beating, we were beside ourselves wondering what to do. Do we name him? Bury him? I wondered to myself if I really wanted to have this child named and his body put to rest. I felt like I didn't want to have a grave to visit as a reminder of how sad I felt. But as soon as I saw his little body, I knew what we had to do.
We named him Jaden Bryce, and we were able to bury him in the same spot where his great grandfather's body was already at rest. It was actually quite special, to know that he is with Grandpa Max. And I am so glad we did it. I learned so much about the plan of salvation and truly believe that Jaden's little spirit was with his body inside me for a short time before he left to go back to Heavenly Father. And that we will get to be with him and meet him some day. I can't wait to see what he is like.
I also learned how truly blessed I am to have four beautiful, healthy girls. I took for granted how easy and problemless (if that's a word) my first four pregnancies were. I am so happy to have a wonderful husband and four beautiful children to keep me happy and whole here on earth.
I feel so blessed to have Jaden, even though I can't have him here on earth. Jeff's grandpa said something to me at the graveside service we held for him last year...."Heavenly Father must think you are a pretty special person to be Jaden's mother, because he knew that you would understand that his plan for Jaden wasn't to be on earth at this time."
I do feel special. And when I visit Jaden's grave, I don't feel sad...... I feel happy to know that I have a son waiting for me in Heaven.
This is a pic of the girls at Jaden's grave on Easter.
2 comments:
I love you so much Josi... :) I can't help but cry at this post, because I agree that you are very special to have had him. You are a wonderful mother and you have a special little guy waiting for you. Thank you so much for sharing this. I hope you know how much your comments meant to me through my pregnancy with Taya. You were selfless to me even though you've been through much much harder circumstances. I admire you for your strength. I love your spirit. And I'm so very thankful to have you as my cousin :)
I was just thinking that it had been a year - and wondering how you were doing with it. You are such a wonderful person; I am blessed to know you and to have you as a friend.
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